Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Teens like me, what are your expectations when entering adulthood?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do men cheat on their wives with someone extremely unattractive?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I feel like my boyfriend doesn't love me. Why?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Is it true that Jehovah's witnesses once thought the world would end in 1975?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I see through liars

What do you do when your family doesn’t care about you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

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EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What are some of your favorite hip hop lyrics?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have a reading level above third grade

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why, after a divorce, would one still want to ruin the other one’s life?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I can count

Have you worn a tight black mini skirt?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t